Dirty laundry...

So I was doing my quiet time this afternoon and I am in the book of John. (I recently finished Ephesians which was telling me how to love, and now I feel as though God lead me into John to teach me how to fall in love with Him through his life story; very cool and fun for me! :) Anyways, so I am reading in John 4: 39-42 and in my Bible, its just a blip of a couple of verses, but as I read, read over it again, and read over it again, I kept praying that God would reveal to me or uncover whatever it was that I was supposed to understand from those little bits of verses. Its all about the woman at the well, post-visit from Jesus and she is telling anybody who will talk with her, hear her out about her experience with Jesus. I especially got stuck on verse 39 where she testified, " He told me all the things that I HAVE done.". And I kept pondering on this and thinking, and God started putting the pieces together for me as to why I was hung up on that verse (It was like when you used to do those Math Superstar worksheets in Elementary school, which I HATED, and you asked some one to help you and they kept dancing around the answer until your brain caught up, that's how reading this verse felt.) What finally struck me was the fact that this woman was the 'woman at the well' the infamous woman who Jesus called out and exposed her for who she was being at the time; a floozy if you will. Well after she encountered, spoke with and experienced Christ, she was all about airing her 'dirty laundry'; she didn't hesitate to share the fact that, yes, she wasn't perfect, she had had her faults, flaws and blunders and would probably pay for that the rest of her life in her reputation, but she made it known that Christ told her all that she had done and given her something that she hadn't found in the beds, words or situations she had been in before; she experienced Christ as her literal Savior from the life she had led. And in the verse, she says ' all the things she had done" meaning, that was put behind her. So I am thinking, wow this woman is throwing all caution to the wind and just letting it all hang out, all her issues and all, but all for the sake of pointing her redemption back to her Savior, Christ. So I started putting the pieces together, and I realized after she had time with Christ, she wasn't pious, or off-putting, snobby-like like, "I was just with the Savior of the world and YOU weren't". Instead she testified. How often do we "Christians" find ourselves with an air of snobbishness about us because we are Christians, we are saved, God has redeemed us and there are just those other heathens in the world who just need to come to Christ? I know that sometimes, I'll admit, I feel a little high-on-the-horse about my relationship with Christ. Now I am not saying that you shouldn't feel empowered or proud that you have been redeemed and have a real-deal relationship with God; there's a difference between being honored and arrogant and I am speaking to the arrogance that we sometimes display. God just helped me recognize that maybe, just maybe, when other people, everyday Joe-smoes are able to see me as me, Christian, and are able to hear where God has taken me from, then I may seem less intimidating and maybe God can use me when I am humble, not arrogant. God was able to use the woman at the well's testimony as well as the Holy Spirit to help others see their error in their own lives and need for Christ. So maybe, we as Christians need to be reminded that God did deliver us from the same, disgraceful sin as the woman at the well and that God wants us to share that story of His sweet and tender love to the rest of the world so the pious off-putting "Christians" that non-believers think we are will realize we aren't that different; we Christians have just allowed God to wash our dirty laundry and take control and that has made all the difference.

Convictions...

Have you ever been in that kind of mood where you just have no desire to do anything but be at home, in your pajamas, with a blanket and the couch? And on top of that, feeling like that around the same time you are headed to church? Yeah, well yesterday Marcus and I decided to go to the 6:15 service at The Journey just to have a chance to spend the day together and relax and still enjoy our time at church. So as we were piddling around and wasting time before church over in Yulee, I started getting really tired and just in that mood where I just wanted to be home, period, which resulted in me being kind of punchy with Marcus and just not in the right place mentally or emotionally to worship God. Fast-forward about 30 minutes and we are in church, the crowd is lighter than usual for us and Marcus, of course, sits us in a very uncomfortable area.Worship begins and we start singing, and I suddenly realize there is someone in the previous vacant chair beside and the only way that I can tell that is because I feel a texture somewhat like old-lady's permed hair on my arm. So, at this point, I'm thinking, "Great, now what? I'm already a little annoyed that we waited to come to the latest service, I am going to miss the Oscars and the Amazing Race, and not this old lady is encroaching in my personal space, and I KNOW that Marcus won't take the hint and scoot over; he'll interpret my moving closer as a sign that I am being affectionate, not what I'm going for!" So I am ranting in my head, still singing to God mind you, about how I am going to be the light that this world needs (because I am really showing it in my thoughts!), I mean really singing like I mean it. Then the transition to the next worship song occurs and its a song I LOVE and really know and I am excited, all the while still a little annoyed about this raiding of space I am feeling. Literally, at that moment, as I am reaching my vocal limits as well as space limits, it was like God reminded me of everything I needed to be reminded of; why I was there, what was going on, my own inability to really focus on Him. At that moment, it was like God opened my ears and I heard this little old lady singing the words to the David Crowder song that was being played and God reminded me, this isn't about you, your harmony, your comfort; Let me remind of what I am hearing, how MY name is being blessed. I guess because my best friend and my husband are passionate about worship and I have experienced God's hand work in them with their passion and have learned how to appreciate intimate worship, God often reminds me to stop everything; thinking, singing, watching, everything and take a moment to absorb a glimpse of Him. When I heard that woman, an elderly woman who didn't care about the volume, the sound, lights, nothing but singing praises to her Lord, I realized how wrong I was. Wrong for coming into God's sanctuary already with a chip on my shoulder over such stupid stuff, wrong for not embracing this woman into God's house, rather getting annoyed with every brush of her arm against my sleeve. I was so convicted, I started to get teary-eyed because God was showing me the reverence and sweetness of what WAS important in that moment. As I took that time to look around I noticed a mentally handicap young man raising his hands in worship to the God who he adored, and it was truly evident that God was in that room. Even though I've written a book already, I cannot describe to you the humility I felt for being so selfish and unworthy, but at the same time so blessed that God was taking this time to gently remind me of Him. To see the Holy Spirit evident and sweetly touching God's people in that time was more than enough to convict me and make me quickly change my tune. I stopped and just prayed that God would forgive me of my own selfishness and for Him to please open me up to Him the remainder of the time I had not wasted on myself. You can take what you will from this post and let God use it in His way for what's going on in your life, but I mainly wanted to say that God is so real, so holy, and so precious and don't let petty, silly things hinder your worship in song, text, tithe,prayer, or meditation to Him because at the end of the day, He's all that matters, above all other things, people, events, circumstances. God is God and thank God that He loves us so much that He gives us that pause to reconnect with what is really important!

List of Accomplishments in 2010!

Again, I am successfully adding to my List of Accomplishments for 2010 today! Sadly enough, it may be a little boring for the average Joe, but I proud of myself so whatever! :) So far, let me catch you up to speed...

1. Finished the Harry Potter series

2. Went to a concert of an artist that I looovvee- John Mayer!

3. Finished the Twilight series- (Now that I am reviewing my list, this must be my year of reading because books are dominating my list! :)) I have to say, I TOTALLY knocked the 'Twi-hard' fans because I thought, okay seriously, vampires and werewolves? The books sounded either like a.) a scene from a the haunted house I ran uot of in 5th grade that's jaded me to this day or b.) some super cheesy spin-off wannbe Harry Potter (which I considered untouchable, that NOTHING could be better than my favorite Gryffindor). So I started Twilight, the first book, began a little slow, and then before I knew it, I was having a fictional affair with Edward Cullen. No joke, I literally took like maybe 3 days to read the first book. Then I just HAD to have the second book. Read THAT in like 2 DAYS! The third book took me a little longer and then I made it to the 4th book. I actually loved it! And my students loved talking to me about it; it really became the perfect example for most of the literary terms that I was reviewing with them. When my kids asked me who would I choose, Harry or Edward, I told them I just didn't know. I mean, Harry and his adventures engulfed me so much so that I was helping Harry defeat Valdemort in my dreams. But then there was sweet, misunderstood, steadfast Edward who I just melted for (no matter what Jacob looked like!) because of his love for Bella and vice-versa. So I resorted to the fact that if I had to choose, I choose both as my favorites; Harry has the adventure and fun and Edward has the heart and soul. So I have completed another series and I have caught up with the rest of the teenage readers I encounter and understand what it means to be Team Edward or Team Jacob! :)